Client Quote #37: grad dress

This was clearly a triggering comment for the client. I mean it’s probably a triggering comment for anyone reading this quote. Our family can love us and have the best of intentions, AND be hurtful and wrong about us at the same time. It’s okay to hold two conflicting truths at the same time. We’re allowed to feel conflicted. 

Of course I am here to validate, listen, and reflect best I can. But I encourage clients to work through validating their reactions, defenses, offenses, whatever emotions that are being summoned in this instance with a therapist. Because only then, after we are able to acknowledge and honour our own feelings, can we get clear about what our beliefs are and what values we hold. And when we become practiced at self-validation with professional guidance, maybe we can start to notice that our beliefs and values have been consistently different from others, and that is okay. When we get clear about what we stand for, comments like these may gradually start to lose their impact. Thank goodness for that.